钳工工艺步骤案例:大家来看看这篇英语作文有没有语法错误,帮忙改下

Mr.Piewrre described him
described--->introduced himself (to us)

what we wanted to knew--->
about what we wanted to know

When he thought his or her question was great,he will gave him or her chocolate.But that made the class very noisy,so I didn't think that's so great.---->
When he thought it's a good question, he gave a chocolate to the student. And it made the class noisily, so I didn't think it's a good idea.

Next--->Then

Chinese--->China's

He sang it for us.
for--->with

The song was great
great--->pleasant

It was kind of funny ,so I loved it.
so--->and

In a word,I liked this class.Beacuse I think it was interesting.---->
I think it was an interesting class ,and I like it.

In class,Mr.Piewrre described him:这里的him有歧义，不知道你指的是Mr.Piewrre还是另外一个老师。如果指Mr.Piewrre应该用himself。另外表示自我介绍应该用“introduced himself"较妥。
what we wanted to knew这里的what我认为改用which,that比较好，关于questions的定语从句。

When he thought his or her question was great,he will gave him or her chocolate
你的意思是当他认为你们的问题提得好得时候他会奖励你们巧克力，但是为什么叙述语气突然变了呢？还是改为When he thought our questions were great,he will gave us chocolate

其他的一时看不出什么问题，in a word就是基本没问题啦
不过文章还是写得。。。

首先,整篇文章都是过去时,4楼的观点不对,不是过去任为的意思,只是前后时态要统一
其次,in class没有错,是固定短语"在课上"
insect是昆虫的意思,没有错.
而奖励chocolate只是给某一个人,并不是全部,所以可以不用our
在哪一天,是先月再日,没有错,May 29th 5月29号,
4楼犯有严重错误,kind of的意思是有几分,a kind of是一种,她写的没错,不需要加a

1.月份要写在日期的后面。
2.the是一个定冠词，有两种情况下可以用：一，特有名词前：the US 二，用在上文中出现过了的人或是物品前。
也不要写the China, 这样看的人会认为有几个中国，而你写的是其中一个。
这里你可以写Our teathers......
3.In the class,这里要加the,道理同上。
4.Mr.Piewrre has described，过去完成时。我不太理解你后面的那个him，如果是指“他自己”，你就要用himself。
5."we asked him some questions what we wanted to knew"这个句子，
第一，we have asked；二，整个句子应该是：we have asked him some questions about what we want to know.
你的wanted 和 knew 错了的原因是：这里只是简单的描述，应该用一般现在时。
6.怎么会把将来时和过去时放在一起？will gave？写would gave就好了。
7.chocolate是名词，所以前面要加冠词a
8.I didn't think:就写I don't think，因为你现在认为它不是很好，而不是你过去认为或是你曾经认为。
9.你为什么要用Next?你前面并没有写过First之类的词阿，如果你这里表示的是连接的意思，你可以用：Moreover,Furthermore,之类的。
10.Mr.Piewrre has showed
11.He has taught us. teach的过去时不加ed而是taught
12.不太了解insert你写的是什么意思，感觉不太对。
13. It was a kind of funny.一定要加a
14.I love it.是你喜欢它，不要用过去时。道理与8一样。
15. I like this class . 不要用过去时。道理与8一样

不知道这样你满意吗？
我改过的应该没错。

On May 29th we had an English class by Piewrre and another teacher.
In class,Mr.Piewrre introduced himself and as well we asked him what we wanted to know.He gave them the chocolates,whose questions were great,but that made the class a bit noisy,so I don't think it's good.Then Mr.Piewrre showed some pictures to us about Chinese culture,society and economy.He also taught us a English song,and he sang it for us.I enjoyed it much.At last we saw a documentory about insects.It was really interesting,and I love it very much.I hope I can have more chances to communicate with foreign teachers and enjoy the learning of English.

described him => introduce him
wanted to knew.=>to know
he thought his or her question => the student's question
will gave =>will give
showed some pictures to us about Chinese culture=>showed us some pic about...

teached=>taught