瑶姬的女儿:有没有英语高手进来帮忙？

I come from a small town which locates the northwest backland in China.
应该在locates 后面加个介词at

Although there have no big city City prosperous
改成:no big prosperous city

那里有淳朴的风土人情，还流传着西域边塞特有的神话传说
People there have simple local customs and spread the special Western Regions legends and mythos.

I hope everyones can like with understand my home town. 改为:I hope everyone will understand and then like my hometown.

My personality is bright, loving literature 改为:My personality is bright,and I love literature.

The 鲁迅 Sir's style of writing is most adoring with patriotic spirit .改为:I like Mr. LuXun's style of wrinting and his patriotic spirit most.

What to appreciate most is the sharp speech of韩寒with original angle of view.改为:What I appreciate most is HanHan's sharp speech and original angle of view.

I have no special features, although once learned the ballet, piano and the calligraphy in childhood. 改为: I have no special features,although I once learned the ballet,piano and calligraphy in my childhood.

But end all there is no persistence ground learning descend to go to .改为:But,at last,I didn't persist in the study.

I hope to be in laterly of the study life, everyone can like me.
改为: I hope you will like me in the coming study life.

。。。。。。
太多要改了。。。给我点时间
Although it's not as prosperous as big city Cities
虽然那里没有大城市的繁华
I hope everyone will like and know my home town.
我希望大家都能喜欢和了解我的家乡
I'm outgoing and I love literature
我性格开朗、热爱文学
and I adore Sir鲁迅 's style of writing with patriotic spirit
最崇拜的是鲁迅先生的文笔和爱国精神
I really appreciate 韩寒‘s sharp words with unique perspective
最崇拜的是韩寒犀利言语和独特视角。
But I gave up all
但是最后都没有坚持下去
I hope in the future, everyone will like me.
我希望在以后的学习生活中，大家能喜欢我

==,还有奇怪的地方，我要再看看。。。

“Various beauty had simple local customs and spread the side of Western Regions to fill there legend,
那里有淳朴的风土人情，还流传着西域边塞特有的神话传说”
这句的英语，我实在不知道她要表达什么了。。。
The custom there is simple with beautiful west frontier fortress legend

Hello, everyone, my Chinese name is 悠扬and my English name is Yolanda. I come from a small town which locates in the northwest backland of China. Although there has not prosperous vision like big cities, I still love my home town.You can enjoy the natural sightseeing and nice people there; what’s more, there also spread many mysterious legends of the Western Regions.I hope everyone can go there and like it. I have a bright character and I love the literature very much.Luxun’s style of writing is my favorite. And he is my idol especially for his highly patriotic enthusiasm.
Besides, Hanhan is also my favorite writer who writes with sharply words and has a unique attitude to everything.I have no special features, although I learned the ballet, piano and the calligraphy in my childhood, unfortunately,I didn’t keep on learning them at last.
Finally,I hope that everyone will like me in my future study.

1 Hello, everyone, my Chinese name is 悠扬 , my English name is Yolanda.悠扬用拼音，还有my Chinese name 、 my English name 重复了，我觉得my Chinese name is You Yang,and the English's is Yolanda.比较好
2 Although there have no big city City prosperous ,这里的there have 很别扭，应用there be句型，也就是there aren't……，要不然就说地名+hasn't+……
3 I still love my home town.home town应该合写。
4 I hope everyones can like with understand my home town. everyone不可以+s,like with understand 好像是语法错误，而且了解是learn about
5 My personality is bright我的性格1）既开朗2）爱好文学（性格不可以是爱好文学），这里应该用一个并列句，My personality is bright,and I love literature.
6 The 鲁迅 Sir's style of writing is most adoring with patriotic spirit应是一个被动语态，而且加the有点别扭，我觉得应是Lu Xun Sir's style of writing and his patriotic spirit is most adored by me.
7 although once learned the ballet, piano and the calligraphy in childhood, 我觉得ballet前边应该不加the，piano前应该加一个。
8 But end all there is no persistence ground learning descend to go to 我觉得“最后”应该是一个词组in the end,坚持做某事应该用磁阻stick to(介词）doing sth,所以我觉得这个句子可改为But no one is sticked to learning in the end.
9 I hope to be in laterly of the study life, everyone can like me. later本身具有形容词的词性，所以可改为I expect everyone can like in the later study life.(expect期待）
还有其它的一些你就看上边回答的答案吧。