屈菁菁内裤图:英译汉 看一下有什么问题

The nations meeting here in Shanghai understand what is at stake.If we do not stand terrorism now,every civilized nation will at some point be its target.We will defeat the terrorists by destroying their network,wherever it is found.We will also defeat the terrorists by building an enduring prosperity that promises more opportunity and better lives for all the world"s poeple.
The countries of the Pacific Rim made the decision to open themselves up to the world,and the result is one of the great development success of our time.The people of this region are more properous,healthier,and better educated than they were only 2 decades ago.And this progress has proved what openess can accomplish.
我的翻译：
参加这次在上海举行会议的国家都意识到了目前的威胁是什么。如果各国不采取措施打击恐怖活动，每一个文明国家都将成为攻击目标。各国要通过摧毁所侦测的恐怖组织的一切网络活动来打击恐怖活动，同时要致力于达成一项共识，承诺为世界人民创造更好的生活条件，以此打击恐怖活动。
范太平洋国家的这一决定将使他们对全世界开放，其产生的影响是这一期间最成功的进步。这一地区的人民于0年前相比将生活得更健康，收到更好的教育。这一进程证实了开放政策可以达到的效果