葡萄牙以种植什么为主:求一篇英文幽默小短文

I got two, a little old though, hope you will like them.

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When the waiter brings Joe's steak, Joe noticed that the guy is holding
the dish with his thumb clamped down on top of the meat.
"What's the matter with you?" demands Joe. "I don't want your hands all
over my food."

"So," replies the waiter, "would you be happier if I took my thumb off
it and it fell on the floor again?"
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New York city is really an international city. You can get just about
any kind of food here - German, Greek, Chinese, Italian, Mexican ---
and that's just off the cab's floor!
(cab = taxi)

| 依础熬尽贝?/a>

(两个朋友和熊)A friend in need is a friend indeed.
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen or boy and girls, the title of my speech is:
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
This is a big forest. People like to come here to walk. Look! Here are two men. They are good friends.
“What a big forest! Are there wild animals in it?” says the fat man.
“Yes, there are. I’m afraid. Don’ t worry, If we meet any, I’ll surely help you, and you can help me, too.” says the thin man.
“All right.”
So the two of them walk on. Suddenly they see something black in the trees.
“What’s that?” says the fat man.
“It’s a big bear. It is coming this way,” says the thin man.
Do they help each other? Let’s see. One quickly climbs up a tree and hides among the leaves. He forgets all about his friends. What does his friends do? He can’t climb a tree .So he throws himself on a ground, closes his eyes and pretends to be dead. The bear comes up to him and even puts its nose close to his mouth and ears. Then it walks away, as bear never touch the dead.
The man in the tree comes down. With a smile he says to his friend:
“The bear put its nose so close to your ears. What did it say to you? “
His friend says, “It said, never trust those who leave their friends in difficulty.”
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
Thank you!