好玩的手机生存类游戏:搞笑英语短文

第一个
　　Anarab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
　　'Your name pls.'?
　　"Abdul Aziz "
　　"Sex? "
　　"Six times a week!! "
　　"No, no, I mean male or female! "
　　"Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !"
　　翻译：
　　Anarab在一个美国关卡前的时候接受一些例行检查
　　“你叫什么名字？”
　　“ABDUL AZIZ”
　　“性别？”
　　“一周六次！！”
　　“噢，不是，我的意思是男性还是女性”
　　“没所谓拉，我有时候甚至骆驼也可以”

　　第二个
　　Sex is like a restaurant.

　　Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service "
　　翻译：
　　性爱就像一家旅店

　　有时候你能够得到全方位满意的服务，不过还有时候你只能通过自给自足达到满意的程度

　　第三个
　　What makes a happy man?
　　Daughter on the cover of.Cosmo
　　Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
　　Mistress on the cover of playboy.
　　and ....
　　Wife on the cover of "missing persons".
　　翻译：
　　什么可以让一个男人开心呢？
　　女儿出现在Cosmo的封面上；
　　儿子出现在体育画刊的封面上；
　　情人出现在花花公子的封面上；
　　还有…….
　　老婆出现在“寻人启事”上；

　　第四个
　　Teacher: What do you want to become?
　　Little Johnny: Doctor!
　　Teacher: Why?
　　LJ: Because it's the only profession where you can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it
　　翻译：
　　老师：你长大了想做什么？
　　小约翰：医生！
　　老师：为什么呢？
　　小约翰：因为只有这个职业你可以让一个女人脱掉衣服而她的丈夫还为此买单

　　第五个
　　Woman complaining to dentist
　　"It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed.
　　Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly."
　　翻译：
　　女人对牙医抱怨道:
　　“那实在太痛了，我情愿去生孩子也不想拔牙”
　　牙医：“你要是想好了，我就把椅子的姿势调一下”

　　第六个
　　Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. Wanted her tombstone to read : BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
　　The engraver shortened it to: "RETURNED UNOPENED"
　　翻译：
　　一个85老太太快要死了，却还是个处女，他留下遗愿，希望自己的墓碑上刻上：出生的时候做处女 活着的时候做处女 死了还要做处女！
　　雕刻墓碑的工匠嫌太长，遂刻上：“退货,未拆包装".

　　第七个
　　75 years old man got married to a 15 years girl.
　　On their first night both were crying.....
　　Why???
　　Because she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything 一个75岁的老头子和一个15岁的小姑娘结婚了
　　结果洞房的那个晚上两个人都哭了
　　为啥呢？？？
　　因为女孩什么都不知道，而老头子什么都忘记了

I was invisible and running through the Karanas one day when I noticed a young gnome near the gypsy camp. He was fighting a lion and though it looked like he would win the battle, being a fellow gnome, I decided to help the guy out.

I targeted the lion, clicked on my mesmerize spell, then *started* to type: "I'm mesmerizing the lion for you." I got as far as: "I'm " when I remembered that I had replaced my mesmerize spell with an Area of Effect mesmerize spell... and that I was standing next to an NPC enchantress. Gulp.

My movement keys are mapped to "w a s d" so I frantically stabbed at my keyboard, trying to MOVE and interrupt the spell.

I forgot that I was in typing mode.

The gypsy enchantress didn't like my attempt to mezz her so she promptly charmed me and made me go after the gnome I had been trying to *save*. I watched in horror as my peace-loving character, knife flailing like a crazed sushi chef, chased the little guy down and stabbed him to death.

I found my victim later and apologized profusely... I even gave him a nice weapon and a piece of armor. He was great about it, and laughed when I told him what happened.

He said he didn't know WHAT was going on. One minute he was fighting a lion, the next minute a strange gnome appeared out of NOWHERE, announced: "I'm wwwaaaddd", then sliced him up like Freddy Krueger.

[sigh]