奥凯盛:哥哥姐姐能帮我翻译这段文章吗？

Once upon a time, I lived on a gorgeous blue-green planet called Earth. I didn't stay long, thirteen years and twenty-two hours max. But it often felt a whole Jot Longer. That's because I was in a perpetual state of panic. It would take too long to list all the things I was scared of. There were all the normal human anxieties obviously: spiders, dentists, exams. Plus those typical teen twitches, worrying that I looked fat or had evil-smelling breath or that I'd been walking around the school with my skirt trapped in my knickers. These were just my background worries! The bass line for the heavy stuff.

　　But one fear was so humiliating that I never admitted it to anybody.

　　I was petrified of being by myself. I knew it was nuts, even at the time. Loneliness can't actually kill you, right? But the minute I was alone, I literally felt myself dissolving with terror. My home felt SO empty. Even with the TV on full blast. Even when I called my mates and kept them talking for hours on the phone. Even ill made butterscotch-flavoured popcorn and pigged the lot. Even - well, you get the picture.

　　It all started when my dad walked out. Naturally I started worrying that Mum would be next to abandon me. Every time she left the flat, I knew she was going to get mashed in a road accident and I'd be taken into care. But she didn't and I wasn't, and eventually she met my lovely stepdad Des. After we all moved in together I let myself relax for a whole twenty-four hours. Ohh, it was bliss! But next day, EEP! I was back on Red Alert. Only now I was panicking about Des dying in the same tragic car wreck. Plus a few months later, my baby sister was born, so then I had to add her to my panic list too.

　　But that's all ancient history. These clays you'll find me living happily on the other side of those famous Pearly Gates. I know! Unbelievable isn't it? It

　　was actually me who died, which is about the one scenario that never occurred to me! I just wish I could go on Oprah and broadcast an inspirational messa9e to the stressed-out Mel Beebys of this world.

　　"Go with the flow, babes," I'd tell them. "No matter what happens, you can handle it. You're ALL 9oin9 to be fine!" And to prove it, I'd show them some feel-good foota9e from my personal video diary.

　　To a cool hip hop soundtrack, you see this like, MTV monta9e of me and my mates, shoppin9 in our favourite department stores, paddlin9 on the seashore and dancin9 the night away at the Babylon Caf& At the end I'm by myself. The camera pulls back to show my friend Lola Sanchez watchin9 as I sashay throu9h the school gates. "At first glance, Melanie Beeby looks like any normal schoolgirl," she tells the viewer. "But appearances can be deceptive and this is no ordinary school."