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中西方礼仪文化差异
With China entry the WTO and will hold the Olympic Games in 2008, the relationship between China and Western in politics, economy, culture will become more and more close. It is undoubtedly that the etiquette will play an important role in this process. To the definition of etiquette, China and Western have a different understanding. As Chinese thinks that the etiquette is the common behavior standards that all the members must obey, and its purpose is to keep the normal living order of the society. In ancient China, a famous philosopher thinks that etiquette is a principal to deal with the relationship between man and supernatural beings, man and ghosts, man and men. There are also many words about etiquette
in English. For example, courtesy which means courteous behavior, good manners;
protocol which means system of rules governing formal occasion, e .g, meetings,
between governments, diplomats, etc. And these words are all from the same French word etiquette. Of course, more spread and more profound cultural comment of
the western etiquette is from the Classical Period, i.e., old Athens and Roma culture. Today, etiquette become the reflection and manifestation of one country’
s politics, economy, culture in people’s social contact. And it include the principal and moral that people should obey in daily life. Etiquette formed in the
process of the deposition of culture and social contact. So every nation have their own etiquette standard which created with the spirit of this their nation. Because of this formed the cultural difference between different nations. As languages is the carrier of the human culture. This difference must reflect in the language of different nations. So in the following, we will take china, British and America as the representation of Western, to look at some cultural difference
in etiquette, and then analyze the reasons. Furthermore, we will discuss how to
learn western culture.
一.
Cultural differences on politeness between western and Chinese can be found in
many aspects of daily communication, including addressing, greeting and parting,
compliments, apologies, thanks, etc. In the following, we will look at some cultural different between China and western.
1.Greeting and Parting
When people meet acquaintances or friends, people usually greet each other
. The purpose of greeting is to establish or maintain social contact. So formulaic expressions are often used, but such formulaic expressions often causes conflict because of the great cultural differences between Chinese and native English
speakers. In English, people often employ the following expressions to greet each other “Good morning/evening/afternoon. “Fine day, isn’t it? ”How is everything going?” Have you eaten yet?” What are you going to do?” Where have you
been?”etc. Westerners treat them as real question. While in Chinese, we always
say “你吃了吗？”“你上哪里去？”“你干什么去？”to show our consideration. Parting may be divided into two steps. Before the final prating, there is usual a
leave-taking. Western and Chinese cultures have diverse ways to deal with leave-
takings. Firstly, in English society, during the closing phase of an encounter,
from ”I” perspective, reasons for terminating the encounter are presented in mitigatory comments. Typical comments are associated with expressions of apology,
such as “I” am afraid I must be off, I have to relieve the baby-sitter” etc.
Western people believe that to be willing to visit and converse with someone is
to have respect for him.; to terminate the visiting is not of one’s own free will, but because of some other arrangements, therefore they always try to make their leaving sound reluctant by finding some reasons and apologize for it to make the leaving acceptable for both parties. English speakers often signal several
times before leaving. “Well, it’s been nice to see you again. I do enjoy our
talk and the lovely dinner, but I must be going soon”. Thank you very much for
asking me over. I hope we’ll be able to get together again before long…” Consolidation in a wider range of common acquaintances also occurs, in expressions such as “Say hello to Jack for me” or “Remember me to John”. In Chinese society, during the closing phase of and encounter, usually, from a “you ”perspective, reasons for ending the encounter are set forth in mitigatory expressions. Such expressions include“你挺忙的，我就不多打扰了。”“你一定累了，早点休息吧，我
要告辞了。”, etc. With these words, they may stand up from their seats. Chinese
leave-taking is very short and quick. Western people think it so abrupt that they have not prepare for it. While moving to the door, Chinese employ expressions
of apology like“对不起没，打扰了。”“对不起，占用你不少时间。”It should be noted that these expressions employed by Chinese guests to show concern for their
hosts can only be appropriate for business visits in the English environment2..AddressingBoth western and Chinese people have two kinds of personal names---a surname and
a given name. But the order and the use of these names in the two languages are
somewhat different. In Chinese, the surname comes first and then the given name
. And people like add“小”before their family name. Such as“小王”、“小郑”、
“小李”、“小徐”and so on.. While westerners names are written and spoken with
the given name first and the family name last. So John Smith's family name is Smith, not John. In a formal setting, address men as "Mister" (abbreviated as "Mr
."), married women as "Misses" (abbreviated as "Mrs."), and unmarried women as "
Miss" (abbreviated as "Ms."). These days many women prefer to be addressed using
the abbreviations "Ms." or "M.", pronounced "miz". If the person has an M.D. or
Ph.D., they will often be addressed as "Doctor" (abbreviated as "Dr."). Faculty
are addressed as "Professor" (abbreviated as "Prof.").In an informal situation,
westerners will introduce each other by first name, without titles, and occasionally by just the last name. If you are introduced to somebody by first name, you can address him or her by first name the next time you meet. The only exception would be for someone who holds an important position, such as the university president or provost. Unless they tell you otherwise, faculty should be addressed
using their title and last name (e.g., "Professor Smith"). When in doubt, use the formal manner of address, since it is better to err on the side of formality.
It is also appropriate to ask how they prefer to be addressed. Children should
always address adults in the formal fashion, using their title and last name.
Another difference is about the form of addressing. From the viewpoint of sociolinguistics, forms of addressing can serve as an indication of the relationship of power and solidarity in the society. In calling their superiors or elders, the
Chinese are accustomed to the nonreciprocal or asymmetrical addressing, in other words. They use “title +surname” to address their superior or elders rather
than call them surnames, while the superior or elders call the addressers their
names. The Chinese tend to abide by the polite principle of depreciating oneself
and respecting others to show appropriate respects towards the persons being addressed, otherwise, the addresser may be considered as ill mannered, ill educated or rude. But in English speaking countries, people have a tendency to follow the reciprocal or symmetrical addressing. Although they are different in age and
status, they can call the other directly, namely, their names, even first names
except when they call the doctors, not arousing offence between them, but demonstrating the sense of intimacy and the conception of” Everyone is created equal”
. Chinese people feel unnatural addressing a westerner by his given name, feeling that it indicates too close a relationship, and westerners, on the other hand,
may feel that if a Chinese insists on using his surname, it indicates an unwillingness to be friendly and maintains a gap between them. So the use of forms like” Miss Mary” or “Mr. Smith ” may be a Chinese forms of compromise. With Miss Mary, the use of the given name indicates friendliness, but the addition of the title indicates the respect they feel they ought to show. And with Smith, the
lack of a title indicates friendliness, but the use of the surname prevents if sounding too intimate. However, both addressing used by the Chinese sound very strange and uncomfortable to the westerner.
3.Compliments and ResponseTo compliment is to praise the addressee’s virtues, ability, behavior, appearance, clothing, personality and belongs. Appropriate compliments can serve as effective supplementary means in inter-personal communication. Western and Chinese culture are at polar opposites about compliment. An western hostess, if she is complimented for her cooking skill, is likely to say,” Oh, I am so glad that you
liked it. I cook it especially for you.” Not so is a Chinese hostess, who will
instead apologize for giving you “Nothing”. They will say“随便作几个菜，不好吃
。”If translate this into English“I just made some dishes casually and they are not very tasty. Perhaps the foreigner will think why you invite me to you family and have the untasty food. You aren't respect me. The English-speaking people
are more active to praise others and to be praise than Chinese people. For example, the Americans are “straight forwardness”, the Chinese take pride in “modesty”. That modesty has left many a Chinese hungry at an Americans table, for Chinese politeness calls for three refusals before one accepts an offer and the Americans hosts take ”no ” to mean “no ”, whether it is the first, second or
third time. Still bigger differences exist in people’s attitude towards compliments, i.e., in the response to compliments. Chinese are tend to efface themselves in words or refuse it, although they do feel comfortable about the compliments
. So many westerners simply feel puzzled or even upset when their Chinese friends refused their compliments. The Chinese people are not intending to be modest with the sacrifice of friendship in so doing, but it is rather
due to the traditional Chinese philosophy, that of modesty. The Chinese people
regard modesty as a most valuable virtue, so they seldom agree to the compliment
on their own.
4.Apologies and ResponsesIf wrong things are done, there must be apologies .As to how to offer apologies,
both western and Chinese people may “I am sorry….”,”I apologize for…”. Etc. But Chinese would like to apologize for the crowded state of their dwellings
and for small numbers of dishes, although the room is big enough and there are many dishes. Chinese stay these to express self-depreciation only out of courtesy
, not having other implication. But the westerners would wonder, since the room
is so large and there are so many dishes, why do they say so. May be they do not
welcome our visit, they don’t like us to eat more. When Chinese contact with westerners, if they do not know these differences, if will lead to misunderstanding. The ways to respond to apologies are different, too.
A: Oh, I’m sorry. I forget it.
B1: It doesn’t matter.
B2: That’s all right.
B2 is westerners. B1 is a Chinese person. “It doesn’t matter” is a translation of “没关系”from Chinese, which is a common pattern in Chinese to respond to
apologies. If a Chinese uses this to respond to apologies, westerners will think
that he is a sharp person, who simply cannot forgive a very little wrong thing.
5. Thanks and Responses
“Thank you” is widely used in English to show gratitude in such cases as being
invited, helped, given a gift, etc. Cultural differences exist between Chinese
and western in how to express thanks and responses. In fact, “Thank you” is uttered in English for more than acknowledging favor or gratitude, and it is often
a means to show politeness. On many occasions, the English use this utterance while the Chinese may say “有劳您了。”or do not say a word at all but just smile or nod. As a matter of fact, “Thank you ” is used more widely by westerners
than Chinese use“谢谢”, for minor favors like borrowing pencil , asking directions, requesting someone to pass on a message , receiving a telephone, etc. “Thank you” not only shows politeness but also carries a person’s grateful feeling for those who offer help. Without using expressions of gratitude, misunderstandings may arise because the help seems to be taken for granted and is mot appreciated, For westerners, each person is an equal individual, whether he is a family member of not. In Chinese, “谢谢”is not frequently used between intimate friends and family members because it may imply a certain distance between the addresser and the addressee. Native speakers may respond to “Thank you ” by saying
: You are welcome /It’s a /my pleasure/ Not at all/ Don’t mention it/That’s all right. While Chinese people may say:“这是我应该做的”， which may convey to
westerners the message that the Chinese did not really want to do it, or that he
/she did it only because it wall his/her duty. This message is quite different
from what the Chinese speaker intended to express.
6. Asking Personal Affairs
People from China do not regard it as asking personal affairs when they ask others name、year、marital status、wages、personal life、belief and political points. It is regard as concerns. While the westerns will think you 侵犯their right
of privacy. when we talk to the westerns, we must avoid asking some questions like this:“How old are you?”、“Are you married？”、“How many children do you
have？”、“How much do you make？”、“What’s your weight?”、“Do you go to the church？”
7.Invitation and Saying Good-Bye
In the culture of British and America, it is very important to consult a time before you invite somebody to attend a banquet or take part in social activities.
Esp. in America, invite somebody means you are borrow times of others. So they respect time very much. While in China, people are prefer to an uninvited guest.
And otherwise, You will be thought unfriendly if you cannot receive an uninvited
guest very well.
8.关切语
In China, we always say“你辛苦了！”、“你一定累了吧！”to show our consideration when somebody from far place. While the westerners do it in a different way.
They will say "How is your trip? "You must be very interesting." These sentences
are all express in psychological aspect. Concerning the old people is the virtue of human race. But different cultures have different styles. In China, people
will say“您年纪大了，你坐吧！”when they 让座to a old man. But this is regarded
as taboo.
二.
Different cultural factors may result in cultural differences, and consequently,
the acknowledgment of the factors that affect the cultural differences will facilitate the understanding of such differences, part of which will vie discuss in
the followings. Since it is impossible to cover all of the factors in this thesis, the factors discussed here are some important ones.
Factors affect cultural differences1. Cultural Background
One of the cultural different reasons between China and western is cultural background. In Spring and Autumn and Warring s periods of China emerged Confucianism, Taoism and other ideologies .As different ideologies developed and combated each other, the basic framework of Chinese civilization was established. And then
Confucianism became the foundation stone of Chinese philosophy system. Confucianism's central doctrine is that of the virtue of Ren. What is Ren? Ren is translated variously as goodness, benevolence, humanity and human-heartedness. In short, Ren means affection and love. For more than 2 thousand years it has molded and shaped the civilization of China and exerted a profound influence upon almost
one fourth of human race. Just as DR. Sun-Yat-Sen said:” Therefore the old morals of loyalty and piety, affection, and love, faithfulness and righteousness, are superior to those of the foreign countries Let alone that peace and harmony. These high standards of morals are our national spirit. "
Different from China, Christianity plays an important role in western. The English speaking countries are generally considered as Christian countries where many
people believe in Christianity. Christianity is the region based on the life and teaching of Jesus Christ. He is the founder of Christianity. According to the
doctrine of Christianity, the Trinity is the union of the three forms of God, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ the son of the God, and the holy book of
Christianity is the Bible, which consists of the Old Testament and the New Testament. However, the power of the church cannot compare with the past time, it still influence many aspects of people 's daily life. For example, there are a few
important festivals in the western is concern with Jesus Christ. Christmas day
is a festival in celebration of the birth of the Jesus Christ on Dec.25.Virgin Birth refers to the birth of Christ, which Christians believe to have been caused
by God rather than by ordinary sexual union.
2. Different valuesAnother cultural different reasons between China and western is different value
The concept of Chinese values is often consciously or unconsciously placed in opposition with Western values. Therefore, it is necessary to determine how people
define Western values. Some have stated that the modern Western value system originated in Victorian England, and describe it as social norms and behaviors common in European people during that time. The core of Western values is individualism. David Hitchcock described Western values from a Chinese perspective. He said that, from the Chinese viewpoint, Western values have three levels: 1) physical level – science, technology, business, public administration, and modern capitalist economics; 2) conceptual level – equal opportunity, the role of law; and time management; and 3) core values – open debate, equality, balance of power
; free speech, and democracy. The core of the Chinese value has some relationship with the Confucianism. The ethnic principle of Confucianism is its discovery of the ultimate in the moral character of human relationships in which Confucius
offered the solution for the ills and evils of his days. That is the well-known
Five Relationships: ruler-minister, father-son, husband-wife, elder-younger brother and friend-friend. This was explained as“There should be affection between
father and son , righteous sense of duty between ruler and minister, division of
function between man and wife, stratification between old and young, and good faith between friends.”During the more than two thousand years of the feudal period, the ruling class arrange every thing by this relationships, and then formed a class society. In this kind of society, a minister owes loyalty to his ruler
, and a child filial respect to his parent. The result is the humanity is neglected and people have no equality.
Different from China, in the Renaissance period of England, people began to emphasize the dignity of human beings and the importance of the present life, they voiced their beliefs that man did not only have the right to enjoy the beauty of
their life, but also have the ability to perfect themselves and perform wonders.
This is the rudiment of Humanism. People became respect the humanity from then
on. And then develop into the ideas of what we always said freedom, democracy. Today, take Americans for instance; the top personal values were self-reliance, hard work, and a tie between achieving success in life, personal achievement, and
helping others. Hard work, respect for learnin

浅谈中国礼仪
摘要：我国自古以来就是礼仪之邦，礼仪在我国有着悠久的历史，它是怎样产生的，它的作用是什么，进入了当代社会又起了哪些变化，东西方礼仪又有那些差异，我们应该如何继承和发展我们的礼仪传统，本文简要的介绍了这些问题。
关键词：礼仪的起源 现代礼仪的作用 传统文化 礼仪的形式 东方礼仪 西方礼仪
一 中国礼仪的起源
中华民族是人类文明的发祥地之一，文化教育传统源远流长。礼仪作为中华民族文化的基础，也有着悠久的历史。礼仪究竟何时何故而起，自古以来，人们做过种种探讨，归纳起来，大体有五种礼仪起源说：一是天神生礼仪，二是礼为天地人的统一体，三是礼产生于人的自然本性，四是礼为人性和环境矛盾的产物，五是礼生于理，起于俗。何为礼仪,礼仪即礼节与仪式。礼仪的本质是治人之道，是鬼神信仰的派生物。人们认为一切事物都有看不见的鬼神在操纵，履行礼仪即是向鬼神讨好求福因此，礼仪起源于鬼神信仰，也是鬼神信仰的一种特殊体现形式。
“礼”，在世界其他民族一般指礼貌、礼节，而在中国乃是一个独特的概念，有多重含义。首先，礼是最高的自然法则，是自然的总秩序、总规律。“夫礼，天之经也，地之义也，民之行也。天地之经，而民实则之。则天之明，因地之性，生其六气，用其五行。气为五味，发为五色，章为五声。淫则昏乱，民失其性。是故为礼以奉之。”将天地万物的生长、位置、秩序、相互关系，都解释为礼所安排的。其次，礼是“中国文化之总名”与政治、法律、宗教、哲学、礼仪乃至文学、艺术等结为一个整体，是中国文化的根本特征与标志。礼是这一切的根本。再次，礼还是“法度之通名”，清代纪昀有言：“盖礼者理也，其义至大，其所包者至广。国家的法律，诸如礼仪法甚至行政法都可以通称为礼。礼又分为“本”和“文”两个方面，即所谓“先王之立礼也，有本有文”。“本”指礼的精神和原则，“文”指礼的具体表现形式，也就是礼仪。
礼仪的形式，我们一般把它分作两个阶段：第一阶段可称为原始礼仪，它完全是史前的初民处理生活中各种关系的一些习惯性行为，通常也叫风俗习惯，不过它不是风俗习惯的全部，而只是风俗习惯中有固定仪式的部分。第二阶段就是文明时代的礼。随着等级制度的形成，它较之于原始礼仪已经灌注了浓厚的等级意识，它是国家产生后借助原始文化、改造原始文化而形成的国家制度；二者有本质的不同。文明时代的礼渊源于原始礼仪已是不需要讨论的问题了，所以关键在于原始礼仪是如何产生的。礼仪是一种文化现象，文化现象往往是诸多文化因素相互作用而产生的一种综合 。由于礼仪起源于无声的手势动作语言， 频繁行礼的实践培养了中国人行重于言的心理。哑剧取得了中国礼仪的地位，而手势语同时又帮助演说家获得了成功。《庄子•天下》论百家短长优劣，深不以惠施善辩为能 ，说他“日以其知与人之辩，……不辞而应，不虑而对，篇(遍)为万物说，说而不休，多而无已，犹 以为寡，益之以怪……是以与众不适”。司马迁描写韩非“为人口吃，不能道说”，似乎也是伟大的人格，因为在中国人看来 ，不善言辞是忠厚诚实的表征。诸子百家的政治主张尽管千差万别，而在言行关系上却如此一致，说明这种言行观来自一个更早的文化传统，这个传统就是礼乐文明。
二 现代礼仪的作用
进入了现代社会，礼仪不在局限于哲学，宗教祭祀，君臣之间，它的作用越来越具体的表现在人际关系和公共关系中。礼仪在公共关系中的地位和作用十分重要，它是社会公德、职业道德等的行为规范，又协调着公共关系中的诸多关系。这主要表现在两个方面：对主体社会组织而言，它是组织中某些道德规范，又是组织成员必备的技能；对客体公众而言，它是社会行为规范。如，一家商店，礼仪体现在它的职业道德要求的某些规章制度上，又表现在营业人员接待顾客的文明礼貌之中；而对顾客来说，则也应遵守与商店的要交道的某些社会公德包括尊重营业人员工等等。公共关系有内部与外部的诸多关系，如职工关系、股东关系、顾客关系、邻里关系、政府关系、媒介关系等等。礼仪在诸多关系中就象润滑剂一亲起着协调作用。公关活动中，也离不开规范的礼节和仪式（仪典），如开业庆典等。
礼仪在人际关系中的作用更是显而易见的。首先，礼仪是协调人际关系的调节器。人际关系具有互动性。这种互动性表现为思想和行为的互动过程。如当你走路妨碍了对方，你表示歉意后，对方还之你以友好的微笑；当你遭天灾人祸，朋友会伸出友谊之手援助你。人与人之间的互谅、互让、相亲相爱等等，都是这种互动行为产生的效应，而这些互动行为往往以礼仪为手段去完成行为的过程。其次，礼仪又是人际关系的尺度。人们常以“远”、“近”、“亲”、“疏”、“厚”、“薄”来形容人与人之间关系的程度。人与人之间的交往中，往往也根据不同程度，采用不同的礼仪去交往。如，亲密朋友之间的交往与一般相识交往的礼仪方式就有不同。
当今时代，是个全面开放的社会，礼仪在人际关系中的协调作用也就显得更加必要，更加活跃，更加不可缺少了。
三 中国礼仪与西方礼仪的不同
由以上内容可知，礼仪在当今社会生活中占有很重要的地位，而当今社会又是一个东西方文化相融合的社会，了解东西方礼仪的差异就很重要了。东西方文化都非常重视人际交往，但在交往的观念、交往的方式上都有着明显的差别。如中国人热情好客，在人际交往中饱含热情，问寒问暖，似乎没有什么可保留的，对于了解有关年龄、职业、收入、婚姻状况、子女等问题，觉得都理所当然。而在西方国家中，特别重视对方的隐私权。个人稳私主要包括：个人状况(年龄、工作、收入、婚姻、子女等)、政治观念(支持或反对何种党派)、宗教信仰(信仰什么宗教)、个人行为动向(去何种地方，与谁交往、通信)等。凡是涉及到个人隐私的都不能直接过问。西方人一般不愿意干涉别人的私生活和个人隐私，也不愿意被别人干涉。比如，中国人会直接询问别人所买物品的价格。因为在中国人看来，物品的贵贱只是表示该物品的质量。而在西方人眼里，如果你直接询问别人所购物品的价格，就可能是探问对方的经济条件，因此，这也是西方人的隐私，属于不宜直接询问的问题。如果你想了解该物品的价格，只能委婉地夸耀、赞赏该物品，而这样的情况下西方人一般也只告诉你该物品的贵或贱，一般不会告诉你准确价格。中国人见面打招呼时喜欢问一句“上哪儿去?”，这是招呼的一种形式。而在美国，你如果问朋友上哪儿去，则可能会使对方尴尬，因为这也属于对方的隐私，是你不该过问的。另外，人际交往的空间距离可以分为亲密距离、个人距离、社交距离、公共距离四种。中国人的空间距离相对较近。我们在大街上经常可以看到两个中国少女挽臂亲昵而行，而在西方则很少见到。西方人觉得中国人过于亲近，而中国人又会觉得西方人过于冷淡、傲慢，过分疏远，是不友好的表现。如果中国人发现交际对方的衣服上有根线头，他会很自然地帮助对方摘掉；而在西方人眼里，这是不礼貌之举。中国人看到朋友穿了件非常漂亮的衣服，会上前摸一摸，询问价钱或质地；而西方人则不会这样做，他们更多的是羡慕，并直接赞美。概而言之，这都是东西方文化观念差异所致。东方人非常重义、重情，西方人则崇尚个人独立。
可见当今世界的礼仪内容更加广泛和复杂，这就需要我们在保持原有的传统礼仪的基础上去适应和接受西方的礼仪，在适当的场合用适当的礼仪，这样才有利于自身的发展和社会的和谐！

教科书高二 good manners